Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
