okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
