for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
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We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
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Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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