It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
