D3 body, D1 cock
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
