just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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