brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
