Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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