the condom got lost in my hair
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
