I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
