She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
honey bunches of taint.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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