Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
