from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
So much rum. So many feels.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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