My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
