So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
