Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
