Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
