I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
