can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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