May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize