so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
