Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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