His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
