Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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