he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
