Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
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using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
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This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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