THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
