I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
