i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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