then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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