Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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