You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
