I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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