why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
this boner is exhausting
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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