It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
