I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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