I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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