White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
