thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Do you remember whose house we're in?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
