We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
