Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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