I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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