windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
