i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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