Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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