OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
