Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
