She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize