...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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