OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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