i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
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He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
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we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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