1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
