You're a womanizer and a bitch.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
