I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It was confusing and full of hummus
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
