GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Omg I joined a choir last night...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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