Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
